Yesterday was my birthday. I got some organic peanut butter biscuits that Mama Dog says I can only have one at a time, and “occasionally.” What a crock. They were a gift and I should be able to help myself whenever I want.
I thought I would also be getting a new Companion for the Family Bed, but I didn’t. In fact, I’ve been hearing whispers that Daddy and Mama Dog think the Family Bed is “getting pretty full.” I think they’re planning a purge. I haven’t shared my concerns with my Companions, as I don’t want to worry them, but I’m pretty concerned. You like to think that in a country like America, this sort of thing would never happen. But it does. And society just turns a blind eye. I’ve lost quite a few friends to this type of “Companion Cleansing.” There was Ted – he was a hyper-active T-Rex with inner ear issues … he just never stopped spinning. But he was a valued member of the Family Bed. Then he was just gone. I mean, sure, he’d lost his squeaker and had a gaping wound in his backside. But he mattered. And Randall the Mallard. He was my only Companion capable of flight. I was planning a trip across the country with him. He disappeared about a year ago and I haven’t seen him since. Mama Dog said he went to Storage. Wherever that is. He hasn’t even sent a post card. I think the only reason Silent Claude has survived the Purge is because he’s so quiet. But it’s probably just a matter of time before they dispose of him, too. So many good friends just gone in the blink of an eye … or the time elapsed during my naps.
I saw Mama Dog looking on the Internet the other day. She said she was ordering a silver polishing cloth and some Oxy-Clean. But I suspect she was actually looking for potential Companions. I don’t know what kind of screening process Amazon has, but so far, they’ve been pretty good in their recommendations. I hope that the addition of a new Companion won’t mean the demise of an old Companion. Maybe I should start stashing them somewhere besides the Family Bed. Or maybe the best solution would just be to get a bigger Family Bed. Then there would be room for all my Companions. You know, that big bed in the Daddy and Mama Dog’s bedroom looks pretty plush … maybe they’ll trade.