Happy Independence Day. Or as we Irish Dachshunds call it, Tim Murphy Day. For surely this Irish frontiersman, this colonial sharpshooter, this ragged rebel serving under Daniel Morgan has done a service as integral to secure the birth of this Great Nation as any Founding Father.
Tim Murphy fearlessly and without hesitation fired a fatal shot into British General Simon Frasier, thus ensuring a turning point to the favor of the Patriot movement during the American Revolution. Without Mr. Murphy, there would likely not even be an America.
However you like to celebrate the 4th of July, be it with fireworks or barbecue (or both, as I do), remember Ireland’s enduring contribution to your freedom. Raise your perfectly built stout to Tim Murphy and know that without him, you’d all still be wearing powdered wigs in court and calling cookies ‘biscuits’. (Which is ironic because I call my biscuits ‘cookies’, but they’re actually biscuits and I’m not even a little bit English.)
On a personal note, I will be releasing my W.O.I.D. (Wrath of Irish Dachsund) at my family’s annual fireworks celebration on Saturday evening. I anticipate it being an even bigger display of my power and wisdom than ever before. I will endeavor to take pictures of the event, but Mama Dog is quite protective of her expensive camera equipment and also very selfish. At least she is ever since Bachmann crawled into her camera case and took her 80 mm lens, which he then proceeded to mount on his river boat as a makeshift periscope. That was during his last camping trip on the Little Nokasippi. Mama Dog was not happy about that, especially when he brought the boat back but not the lens. He claimed that he’d been boarded by a rogue band of beaver pirates and the lens was stolen. But what I suspect happened was that he’s a terrible sailor, he got into trouble on the river and lost the lens overboard during rough weather or sold it to make bail. It’s about 50/50 for either scenario with that beaver. Anyway, the point is that unless Mama Dog takes photos of me during my performance, there may not be any photographic evidence of my greatness.
So. God Bless America and God Bless Ireland. And thank you for your support.