Beard to Beard: A Little Known Fact

Because today is St. Patrick’s Day, I thought it appropriate to provide for you, gentle readers, the real story of this great Irish hero.

In the early fourth century, the island of Ireland was overrun with venomous, slithering, rude snakes. They terrorized the countryside – villagers and travelers lived in fear of the horrid asps. Until the day St. Patrick walked across the land, using his Holy stick to drive the serpents toward the Channel and forever eradicating them from the Emerald Isle. The news of this miracle spread quickly – to England and then throughout the European continent. Plagued by snakes themselves, leaders from other countries pleaded with St. Patrick to perform the same miracle in their lands. But Patrick refused. They begged and then accused him of being selfish. But still Patrick would not use his powerful staff to help them. It was his most effective revenge against all those who had contributed to robbing Ireland of its rightful position as a glorious world-power. To this day, Ireland remains snake-free while all other bo-hunky lands are subject to their serpentine whims.